232+ Dem Jokes to Make Your Day Way More Hilarious

Who dem? Oh, just some jokes tryna be funny.

I asked, “Who dem?” and now they’re offended.

“Who dem kids in the yard?” “Those are my cousins and a raccoon.”

Who dem in the group chat? Just drama and memes.

I walked past and thought, “Who dem boots belong to?”

“Who dem think they is? Beyoncé?”

I saw the squad and thought, “Who dem dressed like it’s 2004?”

“Who dem in the mirror?” “Just my Monday face.”

“Who dem?” “People who still text ‘k.’”

I asked who dem were—now I’m invited to brunch.

I love dem fries more than I love myself.

Dem tacos knew what they were doing.

I looked at dem donuts like they owed me money.

Dem snacks be calling my name in the pantry.

Ate dem cookies… and the guilt too.

Dem leftovers? Gone. Me? Still hungry.

Why dem pickles got more crunch than my self-esteem?

I can’t trust dem noodles—too suspasta-cious.

Dem avocados be playing hard to ripen.

You ever argue with dem chips like they betrayed you?

Dem red flags were more like crimson confetti.

“Dem ain’t the one”—said my brain after the heartbreak.

Dem texts had me thinking we were official.

Why dem always text back after 10pm?

I ignored dem red flags because I liked the font.

Dem “good morning” texts hit different—until they stop.

I introduced dem to my mom… now they ghosted.

Dem sweet talkers? Just word magicians.

I should’ve left when dem friends said, “be careful.”

Dem situationships be confusing and overpriced.

I don’t know who they are, but I love dem.

My teacher said “them,” but I still say “dem.”

Grammar police pulled me over for saying “dem shoes.”

I know it’s wrong, but “dem jokes” sound right.

“Dem ain’t correct English.” Neither is life.

Grammarly tried to fix me—I fixed dem back.

Don’t judge me—I speak fluent Demlish.

You say “those.” I say “dem.” Let’s call the whole thing off.

Dem apostrophes be everywhere!

I type “dem” and autocorrect just gives up.

Dem cousins show up only when there’s food.

You know dem aunties who stay gossiping at the BBQ.

Dem uncles always got jokes from the 80s.

“Who dem babies belong to?” “It’s complicated.”

Dem family group chats be pure chaos.

“You bringing dem kids or nah?”

Dem traditions make no sense but we still do them.

My grandma be talking ’bout “dem good old days.”

You can’t hide secrets from dem nosy relatives.

Dem holiday dinners come with food AND drama.

Dem jeans tight like a secret.

“Who dem think they are—Rihanna?”

I wore dem boots once and now I have a whole personality.

Dem socks don’t match but they vibing.

Dem shades block haters and UV rays.

I bought dem shoes on sale—still broke.

Dem outfits be talking louder than the music.

“Dem earrings too big.” Said no fashion icon ever.

I saw dem crocs and questioned my friendship.

Dem fits be fire but my bank account is crying.

Dem folks stay in drama like it’s a career.

“You hear what dem said?”—every group chat.

Dem neighbors fight like it’s reality TV.

Dem breakups go public before they’re even real.

I can’t keep up with dem plot twists.

“Who dem mad at now?”

Dem apology texts be longer than the relationship.

Drama walked in, and dem followed.

Dem exes act brand new every month.

“Dem receipts? Printed and ready.”

I saw dem memes and laughed for 3 hours.

“Dem comments got me crying.”

Who dem trolls think they are?

I posted one pic, now dem DMs full.

Dem influencers be selling everything BUT sense.

Dem hashtags be a whole paragraph.

I said one joke—dem went viral.

“Dem filters be lying more than politicians.”

You ever stalk dem pages like it’s FBI work?

“I liked dem post by accident—panic!”

Dem bills don’t even knock anymore—they just enter.

“Dem prices went up AGAIN?”

I checked my account… and dem numbers hurt.

Dem loans aging like fine stress.

Dem sales tricked me again.

I budgeted—dem snacks weren’t in the plan.

I got paid… and dem funds disappeared.

Dem coins ain’t enough for coffee.

“Dem broke days” — also known as today.

Dem rich folks be rich in silence—we loud AND broke.

I showed up—dem expectations showed out.

“Dem meetings could’ve been an email.”

I clocked in, dem problems clocked me.

“Dem coworkers wildin’ today.”

Dem group projects = one person stressed.

I emailed dem files like 3 times.

Dem bosses be like, “Team player,” but I’m tired.

I do work—dem get credit.

Dem tasks keep multiplying.

Lunch break? I barely got dem minutes.

“Started from the bottom, now we dem.”

I got 99 problems but dem lyrics stuck.

“Who dem think they are? Beyoncé in traffic?”

“I only listen to sad songs with dem screaming in the chorus.”

Dem lyrics hit different at 2am.

“Put dem beats on—I got feelings to ignore.”

“Dem karaoke nights be healing my trauma.”

My playlist got dem bops and dem breakdowns.

I’m just out here vibing to dem heartbreak anthems.

Dem lyrics spoke to my soul… and my ex’s voicemail.

Dem dogs bark louder than my thoughts.

I said sit—dem pets said “try me.”

Dem cats look like they pay no rent.

I bought dem toys—they still want cardboard.

Who dem think they are—royalty? Oh wait, they are.

Dem birds gossip louder than coworkers.

My pet ate dem receipts… and the homework.

Dem treats don’t stand a chance.

Who trained who? Dem pets or me?

I said “walk?” Dem zoomies activated.

Dem lights tangled faster than my life.

“Dem gifts under $10” challenge failed.

Who made dem cookies disappear? (Me.)

Dem relatives asking too many questions.

Dem ugly sweaters are my real personality.

My resolutions? Same as dem last 5 years.

“Dem fireworks loud enough to reset my thoughts.”

“Dem holiday pounds hit harder than emotions.”

“All I want for Christmas is… dem naps.”

“New year, new me?” Nah, just dem same jokes.

“Dem pop quizzes popped my dreams.”

I studied hard… dem questions studied harder.

“Dem group projects?” I carried.

“Who dem teachers think we are? Google?”

Dem essays wrote me.

I blinked and dem notes disappeared.

My GPA got jumped by dem finals.

I failed math but passed sarcasm.

Dem deadlines sneakier than my ex.

“Dem online classes taught me how to nap.”

I laid down—dem thoughts stood up.

Dem sheep tired of being counted.

“Dem dreams got more plot than Netflix.”

I closed my eyes—dem regrets showed up.

“Sleep early” said no part of my brain.

Dem blankets be hiding when I need them.

My alarm clock? Dem enemy.

“Dem naps hit like spiritual awakenings.”

I was asleep until dem texts woke me.

Dem snooze buttons don’t hit back.

“I’ll start Monday.” – Me. Dem Mondays passed.

Dem weights heavy with judgment.

I did one squat—dem legs said “goodbye.”

Dem gym mirrors don’t lie… and that’s rude.

I came for the sauna, not the suffering.

“Dem protein shakes taste like punishment.”

I ran 5 minutes. Dem lungs filed complaints.

Who dem trainers think we are? Olympians?

Dem burpees burped out my will to live.

I’m fit… fit to quit.

Dem potholes broke my soul.

“Dem brakes got more squeak than my voice.”

I turned up the music to ignore dem problems.

Dem gas prices got me walking.

“Dem wipers fighting for their lives!”

I drive with vibes, not directions.

“Who dem tailgating me like it’s Mario Kart?”

Dem passengers change my music like it’s democracy.

Dem turn signals? Optional apparently.

I talk to my car like it understands dem struggles.

Dem sales ain’t real. Just math magic.

“Dem sizes run wild.”

“Dem coupons expired… just like my patience.”

I came for socks, left with debt.

Dem returns come with attitude.

I saw dem prices and backed away slowly.

“Dem mannequins got better posture than me.”

I shop with hope and regret.

“Who dem shoppers pushing like it’s Black Friday?”

Dem carts got one broken wheel—always.

I laughed at nothing. Dem brain cells gone.

Who dem people waving? Oh, not me.

Dem voice cracks hit mid-sentence.

I slipped, fell, and blamed dem shoes.

Dem autocorrects? Criminal behavior.

“Dem stairs attacked me.”

Dem thoughts be racing like they got track meets.

“Dem elevator mirrors be showing too much truth.”

I tried to act cool… dem clumsy genes said no.

I forgot what I was doing—again. Dem what?

Dem jokes got me giggling alone like a maniac.

“Dem laughs helped more than therapy.”

I started for fun… stayed for dem punchlines.

Dem typos made it funnier.

Laughed so hard, I scared dem neighbors.

Dem puns hit like hugs.

I didn’t expect much—then dem jokes delivered.

Dem vibes: immaculate.

“Dem jokes? 10/10. Would read again.”

Thanks for scrolling through all dem jokes!